i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
