Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
