I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize
