she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
