I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I hate all girls vehemently.
Say something about gay babies.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
