would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
