i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I need a hoe opinion
go on
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
