we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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