party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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