uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Randomize
