the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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