I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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