I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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