I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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