brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Randomize
