He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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