wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
