Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
