Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
