can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
