I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize