The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
This couple is walking their pig around campus
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
