By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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