I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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