This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
