do herpes really smell.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Randomize
