i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
We left an ass print on the piano.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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