as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize