Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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