I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
