i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
