I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Randomize
