so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
