I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
