I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I'm too high and old for this...
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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