I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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