Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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