Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
