I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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