so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
