As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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