Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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