I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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