We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
