how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
