after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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