just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
