you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
How does one acquire holy water?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Randomize
