doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Randomize
