forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Boobs are out for the taking
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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