'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
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