May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
