Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Randomize