Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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