Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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