are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
