I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
