despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Text me some of your sweat
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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