She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
