you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
My liver just had a heart attack.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
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