It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Randomize
