I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
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