wat bout pragnant strippers??
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
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