I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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