Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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