id be glad to
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
