he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
There's always time for handjobs
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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