do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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