it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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