wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
