bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
