I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
