i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
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