Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Randomize