Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
